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Special dedication to you, LIM QI HONG!! Don EMO!! caused you don't walk alone....

Well Don get the wrong info! We're NOT GAY! he posted something emo so i dedicate my emo-ness specially to him =)

Its been more than 5months since we broke up and yet the feelings toward you still remains the same. I've tried so many ways to forget about this whole relationship thing and the past but none is working. Honestly, I still can’t figure out how did u managed to let it go in such a short period of time. And looking at you.. Your perfectly fine, more cheerful indeed and still the same old girl I used to know, but something has changed. Your more mature now and knows what's right and what's wrong for yourself. Family comes first, friends?? second. =) those things that still remain unchanged are your retarded-ness and the hyper active-ness in you =) Just look at the way u blog.. Your still the same. The same old I girl I fell in love with last summer. That's what made u such a special person to me. Well special or not make no differences, if one doesn’t appreciate the relationship, its hopeless to say anything.. Pass few days I've been thinking and thinking over it again. Yet it only brings sad memories during the nights. Somehow I feel that it’s the punishment that god is giving it to me now as a result of not appreciating what I have in my hand last time.. I admit I've screwed up the relationship by mistreating the girl I used to like. I’ve always put u a side... and talked to u very "coldly". As if I don really like u around nor even cared about you.. But seriously thinking back, I've regretted for the things that I’ve done, the words that I’ve said that hurts you deeply.. It was my fault for causing the break. I blame it all in myself. My bad... and for now I should pay the price for doing all those. "Guess is time to move on?" I've been using this phase for more like then 10times already nut yet it still not working on me. Maybe I still need some time. I admit that I'm quite a stubborn asshole. Nothing can make my heart or mind to change once if I’ve made up my mind to believe there's a little possibility of a second chance but the fact in our life is there's none. No hope No faith left. I guess im’ just plain dreaming and hoping for something that will not come true. The chapter of our story has ended long time ago and the writer stopped to write anymore caused she was hurt deeply by her own love. Now I’ve finally realised what you have done for the relation for the past year. There was this period where you tried so hard to save the relation but during that time I wasn even bother about that. I didn’t know how to appreciate it, I didn’t make the effort to save it either, and that was the cause of breaking up. I just know how to screw up things only. Well what is done is done. I don’t think u will care about what im writing either.. No point reading it, its just wasting your precious time. Sorry.. was said many times. But why did I do it in the first place if I know I’m going to be regret and say sorry again for the mistakes I’ve done. In this world nothing is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes before, but mine was the worse case. Although I know what was the consequence and yet I still do it. I seriously dunno why... Over my past 4 relationship, I think the girl I really fell in love with is you. I would 100% agree that the relations before you was just a type of puppy love but when I was with u, the feelings is different from what I’ve experience from the past. You taught me well on how to love someone. Not only loving someone but you taught me how to use my heart to really love someone from that angle. “Sincerity” that’s the best word to describe it =) I guess that made u so special for me =) You changed my entire secondary school life although it is just a year plus together. From an emo person to a cheerful guy till now =) u contributed a lot. U changed me. That the main plot of our story. Without u, I might still remain the same old emo guy and antisocial type of person. Thx to u... =) My life won’t be that wonderful if I didn’t meet u in the first place. You have brightened up the candle of my life when I was form4. U brought life into my life =) What can I ask for more from you? I owed u too much of things and yet this is the way I repay u by giving u such cold-blooded treatments. Serious I don deserve such a nice girl like u for what I’ve done in the past.. I don really expect any forgiveness form you causedI’ im the one who screw up things and treated u badly. But I really hoped that u forgive me =) caused I feel guilty for treating u badly last time.. Right now, I just wanna treated u better but you’re like the one who doesn’t seem to care. Rmb that day u said u feel awkward talking to me caused I still like u? Actually is not the “like” part.. I admit I still like u but “like” as in a friend now and I wish to treat u better for what I’ve done. I regretted. But it seems like I don even have the chance. U know when u said I’m annoying to u, it hurts somehow but not as if u care.. It does hurts. I guess maybe you’re just trying to use this to make me forget about u kua? But I don think is working. It makes me keep thinking of u again and the things I’ve done wrong... Whatever la. At least I'm feeling much better now compared to last time. =) but my best friend here is not.. Aih! pity him...